Monday, March 22, 2010
haha i feel so zzz abt everything these days haha i dunno what's wrong with me also ): haha i remember being a very happy and bubbly person last time haha you know everyone used to tell me that my cheeriness was like sunshine haha xD but i dunno when i started getting less and less cheery hehe and like suddenly found myself having so many troubles to worry abt haha ):
and like now i still feel like this emo wreck haha i just can't get myself to brighten up omg it's so scary cos i really didn't ever use to be like this ): haha sighh ): i've really learnt a lot in the past week haha though i didn't actually manage to learn all these in such a nice way heh ): on wednesday i learnt that you shouldn't trust ppl just cos they look nice or talk to you nicely cos they can just backstab you and you wouldn't even suspect them ): on fri i learnt that you shouldn't be too smiley/friendly/look too nice, cos or else ppl will think you're damn nice to bully and step all over you ): on sat i learnt that i had been so blind all along, and i really got fooled by someone i thot i knew but actually i don't know him at all ):
haha and it's so funny haha i used to really like taylor swift's "fearless" but now i feel so sick listening to one part of it haha it reminds me of my own misery haha ): those words just hit me like a bomb haha cos it reminds me about the price you have to pay for being too trusting haha, and for being so stupid to actually believe that you actually understand someone. for being fooled so spectacularly haha omg i can't believe i didn't even suspect anything haha, i feel so stupid i feel like kicking myself haha ): haha i guess theatre studies does have a widespread impact on ppl haha ): and yeahh i should have known, when you get dao-ed and then suddenly get noticed again, when you ask and he covers up for her, when what he does with her is fine but what you do with other normal friends is not, when everything special has been shared and done with her and there's nothing left for you anymore, when he puts up her picture more readily than he does yours, when rumours with her are ok but rumours about you are embarrassing and must be avoided at all costs, then you know that you're at most, second best only. it's so bloody obvious. and haha why the heck did i have to feel so dumbly happy back then, when all that happiness was built on a fib -.-
haha and now i dunno what makes me happy anymore haha all i know is that i might just have been happier if we had never met haha ): cos after all it's all thanks to you that i'm now living in some sort of emo world everyday, under some sort of mental torture, thinking abt stuff that i used to not think about alr but have suddenly surfaced again recently, imagining things she gets to have but i don't. well you're great la srsly. both of you. ): well it's ok haha, anw her words prob mean more la, or at least she could bring you so much comfort last time haha, whereas i offered you some kind words back then but you just ignored me haha thanks so much i love the feeling man. what's the difference man haha is it just the face or what? haha or maybe i should have changed nationality haha, then i'd be more exotic haha. wells hope you two get to go your dream country together haha, how nice! keep the thing about your wonderful dream there too k so i can always be reminded abt what you two dream about together -.-
and anw so now we're the spare tyre and the second-hand tyre haha wow what a great pair! -.-
ack i feel so disgusted by you haha ):
